I’d Rather Be Drinking..

Ingredients:
1/2 oz Vodka
1/2 oz Rum
1/2 oz Tequila
1/2 oz Gin
1/2 oz Blue Curacao
2 oz Sour mix
2 oz 7-Up

Pour all ingredients except the 7-Up into a chilled glass filled with ice cubes. Top with 7-Up and stir gently.

This comes from my man Christian from 7 o’clock shadow and that dude knows how to drink!

A scuffle started in the local one Friday night. Words were exchanged, then insults and finally blows. Bottles, glasses, people, flew through the air and Casey ended up being hit in the face by a sharp piece of glass which cut off his nose.

‘Stick his nose back on and hold it with your hand,’ ordered McGinty. ‘And we’ll get him to the hospital.’

Out into the street they flew to be greeted by sheets of rain pelting down.

Quickly they bundled the injured man along and into the casualty department.

‘Will he live?’ inquired the boys.

Too late,’ said the doctor, ‘he’s a goner.’

‘Was it loss of blood?’ asked Finbar.

‘No, he drowned. You put his nose on upside down,’ sighed the doc.

[via irishjokes]

Paddy runs in a bar and he asks the bartender for 24 shots of Jameson’s whisky the bartender pours the shots Paddy shoots them down as fast as possible,

the bartender says; “wow i ve never seen anyone drink that fast before”

and Paddy says; “You would have to if you had what I had”

and the bartender says “What is it you have?”

Paddy says “25 cents” and the Paddy runs out.

[via irishjokes]

A Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman walk into a pub. They proceed to each buy a pint of Guinness.

Just as they were about to enjoy their creamy beverage three flies landed in each of their pints, and were stuck in the thick head.

The Englishman pushed his beer away from him in disgust.

The Scotsman fished the offending fly out of his beer and continued drinking it as if nothing had happened.

The Irishman too, picked the fly out of his drink, held it out over the beer and then started yelling, “SPIT IT OUT, SPIT IT OUT YOU BASTARD!!!”

[via irishjokes]

1) A Guinness always goes down easy
2) A Guinness doesn’t care when you come
3) A Guinness doesn’t get jealous when you grab another Guinness
4) A Guinness won’t get upset if you come home and have another Guinness on your breath
5) A frigid Guinness is a good Guinness
6) After you’ve had a Guinness, the bottle is still worth 10 cents
7) Guinness doesn’t demand equality
8) Guinness is always wet
9) Guinness is never late
10) Guinness never has a headache
11) Guinness stains wash out
12) Hangovers go away
13) If you change Guinness you don’t have to pay alimony
14) If you pour a Guinness right you’ll always get a good head
15) When you go to a bar, you know you can always pick up a Guinness
16) When your Guinness goes flat, you toss it out
17) You always know when you’re the first to pop a Guinness
18) You can always have more than one Guinness in one night and not feel guilty
19) You can enjoy a Guinness all month long
20) You can have a Guinness in public
21) You can share a Guinness with your friends
22) You don’t have to wash a Guinness before it tastes good
23) You don’t have to wine and dine Guinness
24) Your Guinness will always wait patiently for you in the car while you play football

[via irishjokes]